Emotionally, it's been another up and down week. As time draws closer for the filing and appointments are made for the hernia repair, my headaches are increasing. The headaches bring about speech problems, which brings fears and anxiety. When I'm caught like this, it feels as if I'm on a roller coaster that no one understands, yet everyone wants to help.
Today was especially tough. I had two appointments that needed to be met but that I didn't want to go to. In fact, I've cancelled them over the last two weeks so often that Johnny threatened to call and see if I went to them. Two strangers came into my life with their expertise, their knowledge, their compassion doing what they can to help me heal. I want to say thank you to one in particular. Thank you for helping me to visualize the freezing of the heat. To stop the fire in my head. Something so simple yet so effective. In fact, I used it this afternoon and was able to put away the medication.
On a relaxing note, I met Jenny and the boys for lunch. If you haven't eaten at 3D Hot Dogs in downtown Prattville, you're missing a treat! They serve a wide range of hotdogs, gyros, and wraps, and this time of year you'll find pumpkins, spiders, and ghouls galore. It was such a great meal with laughter as we watched Ian wander around the decorated rooms.
Earlier this evening I had dinner with a girlfriend and we played catch up. I miss my classroom terribly and realize that the phrase "every one's expendable" to be so true. When I mentored teachers in the past, I always reminded them "Pay attention to your husband first, your children second, and this job last. You could drop dead tonight and your class would be taken care of by someone else, but your family would be devastated." That statement, my friends, is too true. I've seen my classroom. It looks as if I was never there. As if the last 21 years never happened. I didn't realize it would shake me to the core.
Okay, I've rambled and I've taken my two minutes of whining. I'm not crazy about the idea of trying to sleep tonight. Too much has been talked about today. Too much is still ahead. But I know this. The sun will come up in the morning. There will be laughter at the end of the phone line should I call a friend or one of our daughters. And so it goes. This too, shall pass away~